she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
