All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
