im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he fucked my hip out of place.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
