i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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