Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
