Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
