After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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