Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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