she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize