I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
