so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
