So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
