ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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