I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize