if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
