no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize