i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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