Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
All the doctor said was why
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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