I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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