i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
