im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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