Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
