Your favorite bartender is back from prision
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
These tits shall not be calmed
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
