Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I will pee on everything he values.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
