I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
