Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
