He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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