? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
