Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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