youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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