just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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