idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
