He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
