I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
