dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize