Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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