Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize