By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
