***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I think my moral compass just broke
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
