I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We are all done wearing pants today
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
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