I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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