My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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