i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
