am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Even my vagina gasped.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
