YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize