Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
