her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
