okay pat passed out under dana's car
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
