Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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