He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
