Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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