wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
